June 9, 2014

I'm glad that when you see men in shorts, you think of me.

So I'd better link to this before I get email from everyone in the world.

For the record: This is the 155th post I've done with the tag "men in shorts."

ADDED: People seem to think I'm freaked out by men in shorts, but my point has always been that a man in shorts looks like an enlarged boy, and only pedophiles are attracted to boys. I continually see unattractive men, and I'd be pretty strange if I couldn't deal with it. I've always simply tried to help men look appealing to women. I think there are many, many men who tell themselves that women (unlike men) are not visually oriented and that the way a man looks is not so important to women. Don't kid yourself, and don't look like a kid.

52 comments:

Left Bank of the Charles said...

Actually, it's the first you've done with the "men in" tag.

MadisonMan said...

How could you wear a short suit without people asking you if you are Angus from AC/DC?

Ann Althouse said...

"Actually, it's the first you've done with the "men in" tag."

Fixed.

Blogger used to auto-complete tags when I pressed return, and they changed the software so that a new tag is created, ending wherever you ended. Drives me nuts.

YoungHegelian said...

Oh, dudes, unless you live & work in Bermuda, just fuckin' give up on this now! Puh-leeze!

rhhardin said...

Anything longer than a 5" inseam is for sissies.

fivewheels said...

Would you advise women that in order to look appealing to men, they should only go out in skirts or dresses?

No, because it is not a woman's job, or a man's, to be attractive 24/7. Shorts are for me, not for the rest of you. I wear shorts to the hot dog stand, not to the symphony.

the wolf said...

A short suit? No...just no.

But, Ann, I'm not clear on what you think is a reasonable alternative to shorts in a casual situation when it's 95 degrees outside. It's too hot for long pants, period. Me--I'm wearing shorts. I've never heard a woman with a negative view of men's adult shorts except you.

Carol said...

Huh. What about the ball hats all the young guys wear. I swear every guy under 30 had the same style cap in the bar last Friday. Good quality, long perky brim, forward-facing.

Besides, I think there are plenty girls who love it when a guy does the Current Look well, whatever it is, due to their inherently conformist nature.

Me, I don't like shorts and ball caps on a guy either. But that's just me. And you.

libertariansafetyguy said...

I rarely wear shorts, except at normal places like the gym, beach, or when swimming - Otherwise I wear pants or jeans. And I always wear pants to play golf. My grandfather, who dressed very well, gave me that advice while teaching me how to use cuff links. I agree with Althouse's point - women notice.

Michael said...

I live in the sweet sunny south which is fixing to get really hot. I wear shorts to run or at the gym. Otherwise long pants, generally with a jacket and tie. Mostly suits. The world is going to shit all around me but I will be goddamned if I am going to look like every fat fuck waddling around feeling "comfortable." I just won't.

It is hot. Do not be a crybaby. Put on pants. Put on a jacket. Put on a fucking tie. Have some goddamned self respect. You will not melt. You will feel better about things in general. Trust me on this.

Ann Althouse said...

"But, Ann, I'm not clear on what you think is a reasonable alternative to shorts in a casual situation when it's 95 degrees outside."

I've always made an exception for really hot weather, but no one who is wearing a suit (as shown in the linked article) is dealing with an un-air-conditioned environment.

I think if you're going to be outside and it's over 80°, it's not terrible to wear shorts.

I've also always had an exception for those who play a sport where the standard uniform is shorts (e.g., cycling, basketball but not golf).

I've also made exceptions (with photographs) for a couple men I've seen who looked great in shorts, so you can be your own exception if you look manly and fine in shorts. Look in the mirror and ask yourself: If I were a woman, would I be attracted to this?

Jason said...

http://thumbs4.picclick.com/d/l400/pict/370923712631_/Master-Box-3580-1-35-WWII-British-Infantry-in.jpg

I'm alright with it.

Ann Althouse said...

"Huh. What about the ball hats all the young guys wear. I swear every guy under 30 had the same style cap in the bar last Friday…."

Seems to me this helps the balding guys. Are the guys in some kind of union to flatten the competition so that no one gets the advantage of having hair?

jimbino said...

I don't get it Ann. It's 92 degF here in Texas, and sometimes it gets to 112 degF. A couple of years ago, we had dozens of straight days with temperatures exceeding 100 degF.

We can't walk, hike or bike, much less work some, in these temperatures, without wearing shorts.

Like you, Latins generally think a man looks better in long pants, but Brazilians of Rio--where the summer temperatures hover around 105 degF--who jog or walk or play fĂștebol have gone to wearing shorts, both men and women.

In fact, in the streets and shops removed from Copacabana and Ipanema, people walk around in bikinis and other beach wear.

I think you'd have a very hard time in the Amazon basin and in New Guinea, where the men wear only a gourd.

As for me, I'd rather stay cool in Texas and Copacabana than dress to appeal to a woman on the streets of Madison, WI.

Michael K said...

I agree about old men in shorts. Having spent many years sailing, I disagree about younger men but it depends on the setting.

Ann Althouse said...

Think about what great looking calves are (for a man). Look in a mirror. Think about it. I've put up a couple examples of men who actually look fine in shorts, but are you that guy?

jimbino said...

Ann,

You don't seem to appreciate having to deal with hot weather in the South or in tropical places like Jamaica or Rio de Janeiro.

Try dealing with these facts in Austin, Texas, a place you know: while buses and interior spaces are air-conditioned, you can't get to them without sweating to death in long pants. While you can hang your bike on the bus, by the time you get to work you will be sweating, even in shorts. You can swim at Barton Springs Pool at 65 degF, but you can't get home without suffering 105 degF temperatures in the summer.

Funny, you denounce men in shorts, while I have always denounced women who worry about clothes, who shop for clothes, who try on clothes, and who judge men for their clothing choices.

No problem for me: I can avoid such women by joining up with those who concern themselves with manly things like physics, math, econ, chess, cabinetmaking, welding, plumbing, electrical installation, IC and firmware design, adventure travel, haute cuisine, haute couture, filmmaking, great music and great art.

I acknowledge: I do need a woman for sex and dancing. Period.

Mark said...

"Look in the mirror and ask yourself: If I were a woman, would I be attracted to this?"

If I could think like a woman I believe my life would have been very different.

Gahrie said...

People seem to think I'm freaked out by slutty women, but my point has always been that a slutty woman looks like an whore, and only scumbags are attracted to whores. I continually see slutty women, and I'd be pretty strange if I couldn't deal with it. I've always simply tried to help women look appealing to men. I think there are many, many women who tell themselves that men (unlike women) are not visually oriented and that the way a woman looks is not so important to men. Don't kid yourself, and don't look like a slut.

Mark said...

There are three epiphanies experienced in the growth to (hetero) manhood.

1. Girls are different from boys and want different things.

2. Ladies are the deep-down the same as guys and want basically the same kinds of things.

3. Women are different from men and any apparent overlap in needs and desires is illusory. Forget working from first principles and just act and react according to observed results.

I will defer to Titus when it comes to intramurals.

fivewheels said...

I have to ask again, professor: Would you take well to admonitions from a man who "simply tried to help" ladies look more ladylike by dressing in the way he deems appealing?

YoungHegelian said...

I think there are many, many men who tell themselves that women (unlike men) are not visually oriented and that the way a man looks is not so important to women.

"We're not just pieces of meat!" he said, sobbing.

jr565 said...

men in shorts being sexy or not is largely a subjective sensation. The only thing that we can really get from this is that if you want Althouse to find you attractive don't wear shorts.

Forbes said...

Talk about sloppiness--I was at a luncheon today at the Harvard Club in NYC (jacket and tie req'd) and a 30-something guy wore his baseball cap throughout the reception and meal. Just rude.

jr565 said...

I don't have a problem with shorts on men (not that I'm looking at men in a sexual way) I just don't personally like wearing shorts.
I get self conscious about my legs being visible.
But whatever, if it's really hot out you have to make exceptions.

Carol said...

Seems to me this helps the balding guys.

These were YOUNG guys. All drinking beer and yakking with each other and ignoring the girls. Pure "let's all look the same" adolescent conformity. Ugh.

Ball hats for bald guys is another issue.

Moose said...

"Why don't you smile more?"

Will Richardson said...

"I've always simply tried to help men look appealing to women."

Thank you for your help and concern.

Roughcoat said...

I wear what my wife of 34 years tells me to wear. Sometimes that means wearing nothing at all. I like that the best.

So does she.

Ann Althouse said...

And over the years, I've found 2 guys that I thought looked good in shorts: this guy and this guy.

And here's a quote, blogged a while back, by P.J. O'Rourke: "The kid-who-stayed-40-years-too-long-on-the-playground look doesn’t inspire trust. If dressing up as a third grader is your idea of how to treat yourself, what’s your idea of how to treat me?"

jimbino said...

This has to be said to PJ O'Rourke:

The world doesn't turn around you; I don't find a need to inspire your trust, much less worry about how to treat you.

O'Rourke is the kind of nullity who would object to Einstein's sticking out his tongue. Fcuk O'Rourke!

rhhardin said...

Here's me in 2005, with Annie about to do a broad jump.

check the pic before and after for the jump

George M. Spencer said...

Men in shorts?

Clearly, we are on the...

"Highway to Hell"

Take it away, Angus.

mccullough said...

I'm ambivalent on shorts but don't think the tank top should be worn by men.

Bob Ellison said...

Shorts are clothes.

retired said...

While that guy in the add looks like a gay brit school boy, you need to get over yourself and let the shorts thing go. It's 85 degrees outside and I don't dress to impress, so shorts it is.

Show us some real transparency. What do you really believe in besides tenure?

It's simple e.g.
God Family Country
Life Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.
Love Jesus and enjoy Him forever

Or maybe you've never recovered from letting your Freak Flag Fly.

buwaya said...

These fellows looked fine.

http://www.rememberingscotlandatwar.org.uk/Accessible/Exhibition/80/Cairo-was-infested-with-bugs-The-Battle-for-North-Africa

Æthelfléd said...

I live where it is hot, and I like a man with a nice pair of legs, so I am not anti-shorts. But this is suit-and-tie business wear! If it isn't too hot to wear a jacket and tie, it isn't too hot to wear pants. WW2 infantrymen in Southeast Asia get a pass.

Craig Howard said...

Oh, Ann -- Ann!

This crusade makes as much sense as your vote for Obama. Give it up, please.

Virgil Hilts said...

I believe Putin is an Althouse reader and that is why you cannot find a single picture of him wearing shorts (many, many shirtless).

CStanley said...

Both of the guys in shorts that you find attractive are unattractive to me because of the tank tops.

Footwear is also very important with shorts. The right shoe or sandal can make it or break it. It is important for women with shorts, skirts, etc. too. I guess when you are seeing leg, the end point of the leg becomes more noticeable.

dbp said...

fivewheels said...

"I have to ask again, professor: Would you take well to admonitions from a man who "simply tried to help" ladies look more ladylike by dressing in the way he deems appealing?"

I was initially thinking along these same lines, but have reconsidered. Women do not dress-up to be attractive to men. They are in competition with and seek the approval of other women.

So it is (men or women) all about pleasing women.

Kirk Parker said...

Jeez.

I lived in equatorial Africa for 5 years, including some time spent in Juba Sudan (quite hot, especially in the dry season) and Mombasa (hot AND humid.)

The only place I ever wore shorts was at the beach.

Lighweight, loose-legged slacks are pefectly cool enough AND have the advantage of blocking some of the UV. (If you're not of English/Scottish/Swedish heritage, this might not matter so much to you.)

jr565 said...

Althouse wrote:
And over the years, I've found 2 guys that I thought looked good in shorts: this guy and this guy.

Hmm, I'm noticing that in both cases the pictures are of guys with their backs to the camera and who have sleeveless shirts. So, maybe the combo of the shorts and sleeveless shirsts is the exception to the rule for you. If their back is turned.

Anonymous said...

I remember many years ago watching a reality show, "Last Comic Standing" and the winner had a joke that went something like this....

"I was watching the Olympic Gymnastics program the other day. I didn't know I was a pedophile!"

The tone of voice is important in this joke, but the idea is, who knew this girls were so young?

This happens to me at the mall sometimes. I'll be walking along minding my own business when far, far away will be a group of girls all dressed like hookers. It will peak my interest. I'll look and start to think to myself impure thoughts. Then, as they draw closer, I'll notice they are just little girls.

Then I want to stab my eyes out.

Why do I say all of this? To point out how wrong it is to state, "only pedophiles are attracted to boys."

Sure, you could argue in a circular way that the definition of a pedophile is one who is attracted to anyone under the age of 18. In which case, you can't be wrong.

On the other hand, homosexual men are very much attracted to boys under the age of 18 and they aren't considered pedophiles.

It's a fun word game the Democrats and Media like to play with our society though, in order to make it seem like boys and young men are safe with homosexual men.

Just as girls and young women are safe with hetrosexual men?

How dumb are we?

Dr Hubert Jackson said...

Kids/boys wear shorts and pants, men wear shorts and pants.

Not really seeing the men wearing pants as merely large boys...

Julie C said...

Kirk Parker -
That was my experience too - I lived in Liberia and only young boys wore shorts. Women never wore them.

My students wore long, polyester blue pants and white shirts as their high school uniform.

I saw a guy today with his baby. The dad was wearing shorts, a t-shirt and had a ball cap on backwards. He looked ridiculous. I'm with Althouse - I really prefer men to look like men.

Douglas B. Levene said...

The lead singer for Vampire Weekend wore shorts at their concert at the Governors Ball on Sunday and he looked ridiculous.

Rick Caird said...

I guess in all her travels, Althouse has not been in Florida in the summer. Just Saturday I was with a bunch of maybe 50 guys ranging in age from early 20's to 87. Of that group, exactly 3 had long pants (2 jeans and 1 chino).

It would seem the Wisconsin girl (or Jersey girl) is way out of step with Florida girls and Florida men.

Unknown said...

"I think if you're going to be outside and it's over 80°, it's not terrible to wear shorts."

Thanks for your permission.

"Look in the mirror and ask yourself: If I were a woman, would I be attracted to this?"

I look in the mirror and ask myself, (1) am I comfortable, (2) do I look OK, and (3) if I am trying to impress someone, is this impressive. Not sexy, but impressive. When I look at someone else I usually don't ask if they are attractive, I ask if they look interesting (many interesting people are NOT attractive).

Sometimes interesting women have short hair, not usually. Attractive women almost never have short hair (there are some notable exceptions, but this is very like your "shorts" rule) and you can make an attractive woman look less attractive with short hair (like Mariska Hargitay). If you don't already have one, I suggest a "short haired woman" tag.

Unknown said...

New trend (maybe you already knew) using shorts and suits.

http://www.businessinsider.com/mens-suits-with-short-2014-6

However, I think I'm with Althouse on this one. Not that they look like children, just looks stupid.

NotWhoIUsedtoBe said...

Makes me think of AC/DC.