November 20, 2014

"New Wisconsin School of Business Study Uncovers Risks and Rewards of Touching Shoppers."

Headline on a press release.

6 comments:

Laslo Spatula said...

If this is about those accusations of frottage at 'Victoria's Secret' in my defense the aisle was narrow and I had an erection.

Laslo Spatula said...

"There is well documented evidence of the positive effects of touch, but less attention has been paid to situations in which touch may be perceived negatively."

So: some people like to be touched, some people don't. I conduct these experiments every day.

There is -- first -- the light, short touch. Then: the slightly longer touch, followed by the touch that lingers uncomfortably a moment too long.

Once these foundational steps have been set it is the brushing of a woman's breasts with the 'inadvertent' shoulder, the up-close smelling of hair and then the purposeful hand on the buttocks, accentuated with a squeeze.

Research is continuing.


Laslo Spatula said...

There is a barista at my local Starbucks that I wish would touch me. When she asks if I want my mocha "with whip" I want to answer "how about we just start with a light spanking, first?" I do not say this out loud, because I understand the difference between my inner voice and my outer voice.

I am Laslo.

Laslo Spatula said...

Ted Bundy used to wear a fake arm cast to lure woman, finding that they would want to be of assistance to the injured man.

That is why when I go shopping I use a pair of crutches; when asked, I say it was an unfortunate sexual accident involving odd body positioning, passive restraint and a bag of potatoes.

It doesn't always work; I think it is about the bag of potatoes.

I am Laslo.

Robert said...

This totally creeps me out. Conflicting signals in the age of Affirmative Consent. I cannot get the feeling of yuck off of me. Time for coffee break.

chillblaine said...

Pickup artists teach progressive touching.Creepy.

Disappointed at the decreasing signal-to-noise ratio lately.