August 8, 2015

"Foes of shorts — you may know the type of man who, despite the risk of developing heat rash and a reputation as a crank, opposes the things on principle..."

"... argue that the childishness denoted by their brevity cannot be overcome. The detractors contend that shorts are categorically unattractive on grown men, that even when they look good they seem callow. I need to guess that on some level, a significant subset of shorts-­wearers agree, given the persistence of cargo shorts. The pockets of cargo shorts, though ideally practical for a roofer or a gaffer on the job, make rather less sense as the omnipresent ornaments of weekend-­wear that they are, unless you regard them as a kind of ballast to balance puerility. Those pockets aren’t empty; they’re full of the idea of rugged work. To butch up the look in full, a fellow does not settle for the basic khaki coloring of old colonial campaigns but instead pursues a camouflage print. This is a standard streetwise look — camo cargos, T-shirt, a pair of Nikes bearing the soaring silhouette of Michael Jordan. Not for nothing, ­Jordan’s early ’90s taste in long basketball shorts is credited with steering us away from skimpiness and toward hems that swagger below the kneecaps, swishing like zoot suits."

One paragraph from a NYT Magazine essay by Troy Patterson about men in shorts titled "He’s Got Legs."

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Old people!

I get the sense this opposition to shorts comes from a fashion sense constructed in the hazy past, when only "schoolboys" (a term no one even uses anymore) wore shorts. Not sure when that was, but it's at LEAST half a century later. Stop trying to pretend a fashion sense constructed by your youth is objective and natural so you can foist it on the rest of us. Why should we suffer for your old-people aesthetics? It's hot outside!

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

"ballast to balance puerility"

Editor on break?

Heartless Aztec said...

Inlanders. Sheesh. Don't make me break out my 1974 Ocean Pacific lime green cord board shorts Althouse. I'm talking an accumulation of sewn fabric that barely covers the package. The beach girls loved the look and we loved them right back. Life in board shorts is better.

Bill, Republic of Texas said...

I worked with a man (non-Scottish) who wears cargo kilts. Then I saw a lawyer in Austin wearing a kilt. Is this a thing now?

I wonder what our gracious host would make of kilts?

Matt said...

To repeat myself, the Professor has a really weird fetish.

Anthony said...

Oh, for pete's sake. You use the pockets of cargo shorts for your cell phone and wallet.

Yancey Ward said...

Well, there are some men who shouldn't be wearing shorts, in my opinion, but it ain't got nothing to do with fashion.

dwick said...

Janet! Donkeys!

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

There are strength coaches on the internet who will tell you not to "tap" when doing deadlifts for reps.

I've been doing it both ways, off and on, for a few years now, and I'm satisfied that a very gentle, controlled tap that maintains tension works best for me.

The anxiety that accompanies disagreement can be counteracted by the realization that some people are prone to distraction by categorization; dogmatic by inclination. A person like that may well grow up to be a strength coach.

Marc in Eugene said...

Does AA's household have an appropriate broom? :-)

MAJMike said...

It hit 101 here in San Antonio today. We're under a heat advisory until 9 pm Sunday evening. Shorts, a wicking t-shirt and cross-trainers are appropriate uniform until October.

Sprezzatura said...

Althouse should buy some Rapha cycling shorts for Meade. Presumably his frugalness has prevented him from trying them, which is a shame, imho.

And, this doesn't count as a mommy dressing her man-boy. Shorts are equipment for cyclists, it's like buying a Snap-on wrench for a guy.

Rosalyn C. said...

Took a look at men's fashion from Middle Ages on to 18th Century. Men mostly showed leg and wore "breeches." Tights ruled in the 16th century
Wasn't until 19th century that long pants became the norm.

Men wore short pants for a lot longer than they've worn long pants.

Auntie Ann said...

The solution is simple: bring back seer-sucker pants!

furious_a said...

I would expect the cranks to wear shorts..rather than oppose them. Inappropriate in more settings than slacks.

Cargo short..have an unfortunate tendency to catch on doorknobs and drawer pulls.

Anonymous said...

Some say shorts are cool! Some say shorts ARE not!
In truth it matters not one jot
What’s important really (I know you’ll chortle)
Is that you buy’em via Althouse’s Amazon portal!

T. A. Hansen said...

I love camo shorts with cargo pockets. My first pair was made form BDU pants I wore in Iraq. I grew out of those as my younger self was more fit and trim. I like wearing shorts when I construct things. I'm not posing when wearing shorts. The best camo shorts are those made from rip-stop nylon like summer BDU's they get a patina as they age.

mishu said...

Just won't let go of that bone. Eh doggie?

Heartless Aztec said...

I'm thinking it's time to bring back cod pieces for male attire..

Anonymous said...

Men in shorts beat back the Hun at Tobruk and El Alamein. Of course the Huns were wearing shorts too.

I have the calves of a greek god. I wear shorts as a favor to all my female admirers.

I used to hike the alps in lederhosen. Pronounced Lay-der ho-zen (leather pants), not Lee-der ho-zen (songs pants). Even in cold weather climbing glaciers I was plenty warm with the short pants and knee length woolen socks.

And I looked damn good doing it. Like a sexy Hummel figurine.

Time to go yodel under a few Dirndls.

loudogblog said...

I went to get two new front tires for my car yesterday morning. I was the only one of the seven male customers there who was wearing long pants. All of the other male customers were wearing shorts.

mikee said...

An anti-shorts note from down here in sunny, sunny, sunny Texas: sunburned lower legs are a risk for those of us with frog-belly-white legs, down here in the South. Another reason to wear long pants!

Tom said...

Tampa today: high of 92, relative humidity in the mid-80% range. YOU wear long pants.


BTW, the pockets in cargo shorts are ideal for wallets and phones so you don't have to sit on them. Some people read way too much into things.