November 27, 2008

"so far it s been a pretty good thanksgiving"

blogging cockroach said...
weird but pretty good
you see mom here at the house is french
dad is american
their son tommy
whose computer i use
is very confused
that didn t stop tommy from making a very good
pumpkin pie which i just sampled yum dessert
anyway you know the french don t eat early
so mom s idea of thanksgiving dinner is 6 pm
that s super early in france
that s super crazy over here
dad says thanksgiving is the only day
the americans eat better than the frence
mom says merde
but mom did get talked into making a dinde
that s turkey in french
with the usual fixings
but how do you explain stuffing to the french
not to mention creamed onions
but mom did her best with dad s help
and it all worked out
though they got into a bit of a dustup
the biggest problem was the wine
why am i not surprised
dad had this bottle of puligny montrachet
picked out and mom says it s all wrong
dad says ok we ll drink the mondavi
you ve been cooking with if that s how
you re going to be and mom says you need
a nice cote du rhone but not chateauneuf du pape
more something like a cornas
and dad says but that s red and i drink white
wine with turkey and mom says your palate
isn t educated so go open one of those bottles of
05 cornas in the basement before the
damn dinde drys and i get angry
so they had a slightly sulkey dinner with dad
coughing and making faces at the wine
and mom reminding tommy that the pilgrims
and the indians probably didn t have any good wine
but some people never learn to appreciate such
things and it was just as well they drank
beer and dad says he could use a good beer
about now

well this went on and given the late start
and the bickering over wine things didn t wind up
until very late when it was too hard
to really clean up well which is fine by me
as you know i like to dine fashionably late too

55 comments:

Anonymous said...

""so far it s been a pretty good thanksgiving""

Tell that to Lois Feldman.

A Carroll woman who was caught having sex in the men's room at an Iowa Hawkeye football game in Minneapolis last weekend says she’d had so much wine before kickoff that she doesn’t remember walking into the restroom, the man she had sex with in a stall, or when the police opened the door.

A security guard who said he saw the two having sex through a gap in a men’s restroom stall flagged down campus police, according to the police report.

The officer pushed his way through the crowd, opened the door and separated Feldman and Walsh, the report said.

Police described both Feldman and Walsh as upset, drunk and uncooperative.


Feldman said she’d never met Walsh.

“I don’t know who this man is,” she said today. “I just found out his name in the paper last night.”

Wince said...

Since I posted this late to the last thread...

Watch, as Martha Stewart "eats" a Thanksgiving turkey: "Keeping the pointy wings neatly at the side."

Hey, at least Our Turkeys are Killed Humanely! @0:35

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Mother tried to .. hook me up with a distant causin.

I danced with her. Mother took our picture.

I'm at my friends house en el alto manhattan. I will fill in later

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Mother causin is hot, ecept the causin has a man incognito.

blake said...

EDH! I tried to post that in the turkey-cide thread!

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

It looks like i'm going with causin to crismas party.

she sudjested mother should remain uncognisant.

Yo no se come guardar secretos a mi madre. pero esta ves yo creo poder.

Es una Mujer Especial.

vaile con ella.

mi amigo me dice ... te digo ahorita.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

I allready knew her.

but now she is divorced now she is a dancin maniac - i'm a dancing maniac.

i told her i danced outside of certain propriety.

she said - just dont go crazy and embarrased your mother.

i was piked that my mother would pre-empt me.

but that's what nother does. thats what she is good at.

imagining the worst.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

so i told my distant causin dont tell mother we are going to the crismas party.

she agreed.

to tell you the truth i dont know why i had not hooked up with this causin b4.

well it's not like anything has happened. its all based on a vibe and great dancing and a yes to an invitation to a crismass party.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

we had met in the dominican republic b4 and it was ebarrasing that i did not remember.

but i did remember the excuse for a husband my family found for her to get here. to get to the US.

She complemted me that i had remembered a thanksorry from nearly a decade old.

i told her that that is what happens when our dreams are taken over by other people we believe know better.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

She is very nice. i could have maybe got togrther with her b4.

but she knows that i know that other than this get together it would have been impossible. no matter what.

we had an adult conversation.

i made her laugf

perdonenme la falta de ortografia - a lo mejor estoy enamorado y necesite mi dormiso espanol.

les amo.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Estoy en el alto manhattan donde mi amigo.

el tiene unos cigarros especialles.

ya no dire mas por no faltaros el respeto.

lo unico que puedo decir es wue viva la vida.

que viva la profe.

que sigamos sonando el sueno que aorita nos votan y niegan credito ;)

Nada dura para siempre.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

salvese quien pueda.

nothing last for ever.

a bunch of stars haver property in the DR.

mother says i would be fool not to follow their example.

Brad Pit has prorty in Samana.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

i dont know what to do.

other than as her only son i will have to take care of her withing a decade.

she still sort of taking care of me. im not in shape way or form taking care of her.

and this is the thing i know. mother came to say to me she is no longer coming to see me.

if i want to see her i'm going to have a current passport.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

mother went and took me, draged me to renew my passport.

its kind of embarrasing.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

she figured out that i let my passport expire.

i cant be mad at her for thinking i need to get a girlfriend.

even if the best she can do, so far away from her territory, is a distant causin.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

she didint know i could dance bachata.

thats how separated i have been from my mother.

i dont think she knows me - her only son.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

i'm listening to Bjork.

my name is so bad - living by myself.

when she

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

mi amigo has this program that you paly something and you let be known you waht this theme to play on so the program seaches your collection and gives you waht it believes to be that theme.

this is so f-ing graet.

here comes brain ferry

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Mi amigo duerme como un dracula.

despues de pedir y recibir. pero me dejo a cargo de su sitio.

per eso les puedo hablar tan a menudo.

mi amigo duerme.

como jesus el solo duerme.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Aorita despierta hambriento

asi

slave to love

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

i think i can hear music withing other music. it's probably the fact that there is really nothing new under the sun.

if salomon was right, we are really really stale.

and the amy whinehouse has to be a fuck up.

why? jesus why?

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

i want to go and take her and shake up a bit and tell her

did you know that waht you have other people spend a lifetime trying just to aproximate only not to even come close...

only to see you piss it away after two fuking miseslely records.

you miserable spoiled bitch.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

oh my god

brazil the music

remember?

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

brazil, brazil

i think it was woodys sturdust memories.

brazil

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

the combination of smoke and a 70's theme on just now is taking over.

"it's the begining of a new and exiting differnt story"

went the line on a completely musical piece.

it's little chuck mangiony.

if you remember.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

I'm smoking a dominican don diego,

this shit turns me into a pleasnt ginapo.

i dont have a transltion ready.

a ginapo is a person who is easely led. the na is realy a ene with a tilde over the n

ginapo with a tilde over the n

the kind that his mother has to hook him up.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

it's not like i've been in a comma.

that's waht bothers me.

i've been given a lot of chances only to fail the people that care about me.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

there is an after hours club i believe i'm in the mood to visit.

i believe it has scaped the grasp of the mayor.

i havent been for a something like 3 years but manhattan can and must survuvive,

i will find out, once my benefactor wakes.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

david birne is burning down the house.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Omg my benefator did awake, i aked about the club and he says it's still disponible.

should we stay or should we go?

no i mean that's the song playing now!

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

soplo mio como soplo

eahca pablo

e lo frio

should i satay od should i go?

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

pretty in pink - if you leave.

but if leave dont look back -

heavens know what happens now.

i touch you onece i touch you twice

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

wait a minute i'm back in catholic school

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

bloddy sunday - oh yea it's bloody chatholic!

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

my benfactor is taking a shower..

bastard.

i will have o ask him to blast some chiap perfume onme.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

cris isack

idont want to fall in love with you.

jesus does that sound familiar?

waht a wiked to say - to do

we are about to do wiked things and nobody should be able to stop us.

- no i'm taliking about smoking and other adult private activities.

you know id are going to condem me then go ahed.

i stand guilty on the althouse tribuneral!

shes got to be somebody's babe!

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

she must be somebody's babe

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

shes got to be somebodys bave

i got to get over my fright!

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Hold me now?

thomsom twins

stay with me - you say i'm a dreamer we are two of a kind

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

hold me now stay with me!

the 80's rule!

yea helvetica - wahtever!

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

hold me now! stay with me

hold me now hold my hart

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

dont stop until you get enouf

go michael

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

i hate my new passport fotos.

but somehow it's not important anymore.

i think it's important to be around people that care about me.

for one it's the only way i'm going to find out.

dont stop till you get

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

talking heads wild wild life!

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

I ran "flock of seagulls"

this fuking song rules!

i never thougth i meet a girl like you!

i ran

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

shining down on you

and i ran i ran so far away - coulnt get away

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Althouse rules!

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

tom sawyer - rush

maybe its me getting old but jesus it's a fucking good song

pardon me profe.

to any god or goverment

and you say about its company

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

i'm waiting for my friend

and dont dream it's over comes on

crowded house.

to build a wall btwing us!

Lem the artificially intelligent said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AllenS said...

Words of advice: Don't do meth.

ricpic said...

Is white really best with turkey? It was merlot all the way at my place. A great Thanksgiving and I wish everyone else here had the same.

Chip Ahoy said...

EDH, oh no, oh no, oh no, you did not link that M.S. South Park video.

Ha ha ha ha ha, gasps, ha ha ha ha ha, snorts, ha ha ha ha ha, gulps, ha ha ha ha ha, chokes, ha ha ha ha ha, wees, ha ha ha ha ha, falls, ha ha ha ha ha, splits gut, ha ha ha ha ha, sews up split, ha ha ha ha ha, rolls around, ha ha ha ha ha, struggles back up, ha ha ha ha ha, composes self, ha ha ha ha ha, conks out, ha ha ha ha ha, restores consciousness, ha ha ha ha ha, duct tapes mouth, ha ha ha ha ha, laughs through nose, ha ha ha ha ha, dies.

Freeman Hunt said...

Late night Lem rules.

Joan said...

Late night Lem rules.

Yes. What's to become of us if the invitation to the Christmas party, unexpectedly accepted by the hot dancing distant cousin, leads to something more? I'll be happy for Lem but Althouse comments I fear will suffer. There's nothing like a good stream-of-conscious series in mixed English and Spanish with simultaneously charming and challenging ortografia to give insight into the human condition.

I cooked for hours on Wednesday so I could relax most of yesterday. I played on the Wii with my kids and then we played Monopoly. And we ate pie. It was a good day.