December 11, 2014

"One phrase that might work is 'red zone' — as in, 'Hey, we’re in a red zone,' or 'This is starting to feel too red zone.'"

"Descriptive and matter-of-fact, it would not implicitly assign aggressor and victim, but would flatly convey that danger — emotional, possibly legal — lay ahead."
Such a phrase could serve as a linguistic proxy for confronting or demanding, both options that can seem impossible in the moment. “We’re in a red zone” — the person who utters that is not a supplicant (“Please stop”); or an accuser (“I told you to stop!”). Many young women are uncomfortable in either of those roles; I know I was.

In an ideal world, clear consent will always precede sex... But in the imperfect world in which we live, new language....
New language ≈ Newspeak?

Do you know your Newspeak? A pop quiz: What were "goodsex" and "sexcrime"?

His sexual life, for example, was entirely regulated by the two Newspeak words sexcrime (sexual immorality) and goodsex (chastity). Sexcrime covered all sexual misdeeds whatever. It covered fornication, adultery, homosexuality and other perversions, and, in addition, normal intercourse practised for its own sake. There was no need to enumerate them separately, since they were all equally culpable, and, in principle, all punishable by death. In the C vocabulary, which consisted of scientific and technical words, it might be necessary to give specialised names to certain sexual aberrations, but the ordinary citizen had no need of them. He knew what was meant by goodsex— that is to say, normal intercourse between man and wife, for the sole purpose of begetting children, and without physical pleasure on the part of the woman: all else was sexcrime. In Newspeak it was seldom possible to follow a heretical thought further than the perception that it was heretical: beyond that point the necessary words were non-existent.
George Orwell, "1984."

61 comments:

Ignorance is Bliss said...

That's an awesome choice of terms. I wonder if guys will be rated on their red zone scoring, and if the ladies will be rated on their red zone defense, like they do with football teams.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

I know that is sexist of me to assume that it's the guys who are trying to score, and the ladies who are trying to stop them.

And horribly hetero-normative of me to assume that the scenario includes a man and a woman.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

I hope they include these stats in my fantasy fornication league.

Michael said...

This is a good start to figuring out this new sex deal. But remember that men always have to start on their own two yard line, anything further out is rape rape.

mccullough said...

Whoever proposed this term in this context doesn't watch football.

And aren't baseball terms the ones used for sexual encounters: first base, second base, etc.?

Matt Sablan said...

I sincerely, nay, deeply hope that in the initial draft, the author used Danger Zone.

Henry said...

Or try this showstopper: Stop right there! I've gotta know right now! Before we go any further do you love me, will you love me forever, do you need me, will you never leave me, will me make me so happy for the rest of my life, will me take me away, will you make me your wife.

Unknown said...

According to the latest stats, the New York Jets are last in Red Zone scoring at 37.84%.

That breaks down to 40.91% at home, and 33.33% away.

Perhaps they should try some soft music and maybe flowers.

Sigivald said...

If the purpose of a neologism is not to make Bad Things Unthinkable, it's not "newspeak".

Reframing is sometimes completely appropriate, rather than reprehensible.

Certainly a term for "this is making me uncomfortable, which is not the same as saying it has wronged me or must necessarily stop forever" is damned useful, far more so than various other suggestions in the area.

kcom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Clayton Hennesey said...

One silver lining: those most comfortable with this idiocy will be, because of it, ultimately unable to reproduce, and we'll be done with this shit.

campy said...

Too bad NFL Network already locked up the TV channel use of the term.

kcom said...

Ignorance is Bliss: "I know that is sexist of me to assume that it's the guys who are trying to score, and the ladies who are trying to stop them."

You need to work on your ignorance. It's slipping.

m stone said...

From the people who brought us "stranger danger."

Anonymous said...

Palomino!

Henry said...

I do think the author makes a good point, in that the mini-manuals on every manner of mutual consent produced by the universities fail to get to the language necessary.

...in the imperfect world in which we live, new language — if not red zone, then some other phrase that could take off with the universality of slang

Essentially what she is talking about is a language of pop culture -- pop music especially. But the language she needs is from the pop music of the 50 years ago.

Matt Sablan said...

"Certainly a term for "this is making me uncomfortable, which is not the same as saying it has wronged me or must necessarily stop forever" is damned useful, far more so than various other suggestions in the area."

"Slow down," "Stop," "I'm not ready."

All these things work. All "red zone" is trying to make something trendy happen. Like fetch, it should not be happening.

JAORE said...

Didn't some cities have areas designated as red zones? It was horrifyingly racist as I recall.

Oh well. But a singular color might not be enough. How many? Far beyond me. But if my spouse ever told me I was entering the mauve zone I'd be totally lost.

Paul said...

It has been amusing to watch the counterculture's evolution from the free love ethos of the 60's to the hysterical feminist lunacy of today.

rehajm said...

Perhaps language itself is the problem. Communicate nonverbally. Options along the theme include yellow card/red card. Or perhaps flags- green/yellow/red/checkered. Though checkered seems superfluous.

Lyssa said...

I really don't understand this idea that its really hard to say no. Just say it. Should we be requiring practice sessions?

I think that it comes down to being confused about how big of a deal sex is, really. The girl thinks that she's expected to consider it no big thing and anyone who thinks otherwise is a slut-shaming prude, and can't figure out how to break out of that when she actually wants to.

If you start out with the clear belief that it is a big deal and not something to be entered into with just anyone, it's pretty easy to say so.

David said...

I knew a lot of girls who were quite comfortable saying "stop!" To me.

Ladies, it actually works. Try it some time.

Better yet, if you really are not interested in the guy, don't get started. Same with casual sex. That last second switch is really a bummer. So impolite.

jacksonjay said...

Didn't bother to read the NYT! I suggest that President Bill Clinton put this on his Clinton Global Initiative agenda. He personally, can work on the yes or no protocols.

"Hey baby, you might wanna put some ice on that."

Krumhorn said...

I really don't understand this idea that its really hard to say no. Just say it. Should we be requiring practice sessions?

I agree. How about "Stop it, goddammit!"

That always works with me.

- Krumhorn

Owen said...

I think this is a great idea and, as noted above by JAORE and rehajm, why not lots of colors?

Homeland Security has red and orange and yellow, I think. And there could be a big manual explaining how to know which activities fall into which zone, and how to know you're moving from one zone to the next. But even if that gets confusing, you should always feel free to text the Dean in the middle of the night to get clearer guidance.

Could tickets to these zones be raffled off? "Congratulations! You have just received five passes to the Red Zone, good for 30 days!"

PB said...

I see a future with lots of blue-balls.

D.D. Driver said...

I will make a motion to adopt the new terminology at my next Junior Anti-Sex League meeting.

SGT Ted said...

How come women, always touted as such Great Communicators, cannot use their words to say what they are feeling or thinking?

What is this attempt to figure out some round-about, vague way to communicate an important idea, instead of just saying the fucking(so to speak) words that we already know?

BarrySanders20 said...

Scoring in the Red Zone. Classic.

I like Althouse's citation to Orwell. The grim, humorless scolds want everything to be a sexcrime. Unless the female initiates, and is therefore empowering to women. We've come a long way, baby.

Anonymous said...

Don't tell me which zone is for stopping!

Mister Brickhouse said...

According to Family Guy, the safeword is "banana".

Or from "Portlandia" it's "cacao", which I like better.

FullMoon said...

Yellow zone for quick unloading?

Fritz said...

Pretty soon, body cams won't just be for police.

Karen said...

" In Newspeak it was seldom possible to follow a heretical thought further than the perception that it was heretical: beyond that point the necessary words were non-existent."

Isn't this where we're getting to now? once the word "racist" is thrown into the ring, the argument is over. Necessary words beyond that may not be non-existent, but they are forbidden. Also, "sexist", "misogynist", "white privilege" - no one is allowed to reply. Once "heretical" has been reached, the discussion is over.

Owen said...

We have only begun to explore this idea which is (forgive me) pregnant with possibility. For example, is the red zone like the "key" in basketball, so the player has to get out of there in 3 seconds? Or does it start (forgive me) a "shot clock" of 24 seconds?

A trivial change of words can produce a huge change in behaviors.

Owen said...

Oh, PS?

Did we know that the Department of Justice has released new statistics showing the rape rate is not quite 20% ("One in Five!!!")?

Actual rate is something less than 0.6%

http://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/rsavcaf9513.pdf

PB said...

Spanky, Alfalfa, and the He-Man Woman Haters Club are back in business!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBIC8JTQMMQ

Owen said...

Unknown said (at 12/11/2014, 7:30 PM)

"...once the word "racist" is thrown into the ring, the argument is over..."

Another automatic super-trump is "rapist." It has the advantage of requiring only one easy change of the central consonant.

A compound word can easily be formed to handle both targets: "rapacist."

William said...

Remember that Patrick Swayze movie, Dirty Dancing. I wonder how that jibes with most women's initial sexual experience. Probably Jennifer Gray's experience was somewhat atypical.....,If law students cannot handle the trauma of an adverse grand jury decision, how can they possibly fend off a horny drunk without PTSD.......Feminists should form the Patrick Swayze Foundation for Humane Sexual Advances. Handsome, well groomed Mormons can be recruited to fondle women in a safe, sane environment.

The Godfather said...

Better than "red zone", my granddaughters can say, My grandfather has a .45 and knows how to use it.

That ought to work.

kentuckyliz said...

"Red Zone" sounds like the naughty bits of a menstruating woman. "Honey, are you sure you want to? I'm all Red Zone. I'm up for it though--it would help relieve my cramps."

Carnifex said...

"Something something Danger Zone!"--Sterling (Duchess-she really loved that dog) Archer

Lena Dunham: "Stop that!"
Passer-by : "Who you talkin' to Lena?"
L.D. : "No one."

Jackie : "Stop that!"
Passer-by : "Who you talkin' to Jackie?"
Jackie : "No one."

Tawana : "Stop that!"
Passer-by : "Who you talkin' to Tawana?"
Tawana : "No one."

Juanita Broaderick : "Stop that!"
Bill Clinton : "You better put some ice on that."
Juanita Broaderick : "No one will listen to me."

tim in vermont said...

We have been saying it for decades, 1984 is not a warning to the left, it is a manual.


Like fetch, it should not be happening.

And yet, on some level fetch has happened.

Shanna said...

"Slow down," "Stop," "I'm not ready."

All these things work. All "red zone" is trying to make something trendy happen. Like fetch, it should not be happening.


Exactly. We don’t need new words, we have plenty. The problem is that people aren’t using them, because they don’t want to. Not because they can’t figure out how to say no. It’s not complicated. And we have plenty of body language that words perfectly, like pushing a hand from one area to another. Words are not necessary here, except to the people trying to REQUIRE them when they aren’t wanted.

I really don't understand this idea that its really hard to say no.

It’s not. This is all a big lie. And this idea that the difference between consensual and non-consensual sex is so fuzzy is deeply damaging. Rapists are not confused. People who have really been raped are not confused about it (excepting those who have been drugged).

Fernandinande said...

Messel rozz.

Steve M. Galbraith said...

"There is no absurdity so palpable but that it may be firmly planted in the human head if you only begin to inculcate it before the age of five, by constantly repeating it with an air of great solemnity."

One of those gods of the copybook headings.

Rusty said...

*groan!*

Jum said...

You realize of course that all these "affirmative consent" concepts being mandated by the Usual Suspects are intended for only us lumpen. The aristocracy wouldn't dream of submitting to such foolishness. After all, they're motives are pure, and their actions aren't suspect.

NotNowIHaveAHeadache said...

Kind of a fan of the "brown zone" - if you're with...

NotNowIHaveAHeadache said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
NotNowIHaveAHeadache said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fred Drinkwater said...

Jum,
Oddly enough, in Orwell's universe, the Party did not really care what the lumpenproletariat did, as long as they showed up and did the crap work, and drank Victory gin. The rules were ostensibly for Party members like Winston.
Of course, O'Brien operated with his own rules, as suits one of the aristocracy of the Party.

Edward said...

The author of 'The Harrad Experiment'
described a practical means of sex-
dual initiation for collegians, but
then he was thinking of teaching
them to be well-adjusted young adults
with a healthy relationship to the
other half of the human race.

Anonymous said...

I suppose there'll be a penalty for celebrating a score by dancing in the end zone.

Anonymous said...

...is the red zone like the "key" in basketball, so the player has to get out of there in 3 seconds?

You mean to suggest there are men with the stamina to stay in the "red zone" for more than three seconds?

Mike said...

I seem to recall women being just as interested in making out and scoring as I was. Did their biology suddenly change here in the last few years?

Conserve Liberty said...

@Lyssa 4:12pm I really don't understand this idea that its really hard to say no. Just say it. Should we be requiring practice sessions?

I think that it comes down to being confused about how big of a deal sex is, really. The girl thinks that she's expected to consider it no big thing and anyone who thinks otherwise is a slut-shaming prude, and can't figure out how to break out of that when she actually wants to.

If you start out with the clear belief that it is a big deal and not something to be entered into with just anyone, it's pretty easy to say so.


Should men and women behave as ladies and gentlemen none of this would be happening.

Or, maybe the Victorians were on to something.

Fat Man said...

Instead of red zone how about twilight zone?

"Well the night weighs heavy on his guilty mind this far from the borderline
When the hitman comes, he knows damn well he has been cheated.

And he says, "Help, I'm steppin' into the twilight zone
This place is a madhouse, it feels like being cloned
My beacon's been moved under moon and stars
Where am I to go now that I've gone too far?"

Soon you will come to know, when the bullet hits the bone

BTW it's a great song:
Golden Earring - "Twilight Zone"

Forget romance kids. Its real now, like the Twilight Zone.

"Those who did not live before the Revolution do not what the sweetness of life really is." -- Talleyrand




mikee said...

I advised my teen daughter to follow basic safety rules: not to be alone with a strange young man in an isolated place, especially after midnigth, not to get drunk in public, not to do drugs, and that a swift kick to a rude guy's nads was not just her privilege to deliver, but her absolute right, should he not stop at her first "No." Years of Tae Kwon Do lessons gave her even more options.

So far she hasn't had need of the latter, partly because she follows (mostly) the former.

"Red Zone" is stupid. There, I said it. What ya gonna do about it?

David Davenport said...

Oddly enough, in Orwell's universe, the Party did not really care what the lumpenproletariat did, as long as they showed up and did the crap work, and drank Victory gin. The rules were ostensibly for Party members like Winston.

Let me update that:

In today's Progressive universe, the Party does not really care what the non-white lumpenproletariat does, as long as they show up and do the crap work, and drink and smoke taxable products. The rules are ostensibly for non-V.I.P. whites like Winston.

////

"Red Zone" trope: in football, it means offensive team is within twenty yards of scoring. Offensive team is expected to keep on trying to overcome defensive team in Red Zone, instead of relaxing.

wildswan said...

Are the hook up culture and the college rape crisis somehow related? And new words needed for the meta culture created by the two? - the whole being a red zone and/or a blue state of mind. Will sex (aka "congress" in the OED) become less popular than Congress or just equally lawless?