October 16, 2015

"These days, at least in liberal enclaves, a girl who likes baseball or wants her hair cut short is more likely to be called 'gender-nonconformist' or 'gender-expansive'..."

"... with any suggestion that she’ll grow out of such behaviors suspect as evidence of condemning rather than honoring them. She may be applauded for transcending another paradigm (the dread princess, with her ball gowns, glitter and wands) or monitored closely for signs to her adult orientation."

From a NYT article "Where Have All the Tomboys Gone?" Is there something wrong with the word (or the idea of) "tomboy" (or something good that should be revived)? I think it's better to use a word that expresses what we are seeing in the way a young girl looks and acts as she is now, than to be making predictions about what she'll do later on in life, especially if we're jumping into visualizations of her future sexual preferences and activities. It's creepy to impose adult templates. Leave the child to her freedom and personal privacy. Let children be children.

That doesn't mean you have to say the word "tomboy," which could be objected to because it's calling the girl a "tom" and a "boy," saying she's somehow male. It was a lighthearted word in the old days, and maybe for some it still is, but wearing comfortable playclothes and engaging in sports doesn't need to be associated with maleness. I'd step back and not go all gender-y with children. Let them be individuals and try to support whatever healthy, positive interests and attributes they find for themselves.

ADDED: Proofreading this post, I think I sound absurdly, flat-footedly sensible. The answers here seem so obvious to me. I don't know why so much discussion is needed.

94 comments:

David Begley said...

Libs never rest. Leave kids alone. Leave us alone. Stop bothering us.

Ann Althouse said...

Conservatives bother kids too.

Sammy Finkelman said...

I don't know why so much discussion is needed.

Too much theorizing and moralizing?

Roger Sweeny said...

Steve Sailer would say the lack of "absurdly, flat-footedly sensible"ness is because of World War G and World War T. "In war, the first casualty is truth."

rhhardin said...

Tomboy isn't a sexual comment and never was. It's too common.

Also little boys think girls are icky, with perhaps an exception for tomboys.

Sebastian said...

"I don't know why so much discussion is needed."

Faux ignorance, right?

As long as the plebs do not fully conform to Prog-Puritan edicts, there is much to discuss.

Once everyone conforms to the new diktats, then we can stop discussing.

Sure, we can "let children be children," as long as they are the right kind of children, uncontaminated by retro-reactionary non-Prog deviance.

rehajm said...

Do not discriminate against the pre-gay!

Martha said...

This is progress?
I was called gender-nonconformist in the seventies when I, a female, chose to become a doctor and enrolled in med school.

Labeling and pigeonholing children is limiting and wrong and simplistic. It fails to reflect actual complexities in the development of normal children.

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

I've been wondering about this myself, having been something of a tomboy in my youth. Not the short-haired, athletic kind, but the geeky, math-team, model-airplane-building, severely introspective kind. Were I growing up now, what would the pressures be? I ask partly because my little niece is now my young-adult nephew.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Conservatives bother kids too.

This is undoubtedly true, however: it's not conservatives who are relentlessly shoving forward the horrifying transgender kids fad.

Titus said...

Hubby and I went to Mohonk Mountain House in New Paltz, New York.

Abs fab-New Paltz, the city, and the inn.

I highly recommend visiting. The rooms are only $1000.00/night!

Laslo Spatula said...

"... at least in liberal enclaves..."

This is where the infections seem to start.

I am Laslo.

chickelit said...

She may be applauded for transcending another paradigm (the dread princess, with her ball gowns, glitter and wands) is the part I object to. Societal paradigms exist for any number of reasons and willfully casting them off just because they can be cast off is also an old dull shtick.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

How it works out here in Normal Land is that we just let our kids do what they want, and determine their gender by their genitalia, and accept that there's a wide range of normal. My teen daughter wears funny graphic tees and basketball shorts every day, has no interest in boys or makeup or doing her hair and is obsessed with Transformers. She's a girl because she has a female reproductive system, not because of her sartorial or recreational preferences. It does seem like quite the backward slide to return to "a girl does X and a boy does Y." Who gives a shit?

chickelit said...

Titus said...
Hubby and I went to Mohonk Mountain House in New Paltz, New York.

Abs fab-New Paltz, the city, and the inn.


Pfalz dichotomy

Ken B said...

Because liberal enclaves are about hating. All politically defined enclaves are now. So that's why your common sense seems like it needs to be said .

Freeman Hunt said...

I was a total tomboy. I'm glad there was no idiot around to claim that I was an actual boy.

Paco Wové said...

"Once everyone conforms to the new diktats, ..."

It will be time to generate yet another set of new diktats, and enforce conformity with them.

Rinse, repeat.

Freeman Hunt said...

This new gender stuff sounds like it came out of a dystopian novel. "We will enforce the gender stereotypes at all cost! And we will call it tolerance!"

Ann Althouse said...

"Tomboy isn't a sexual comment and never was. It's too common."

You're kind of missing the author's point (and mine).

It's people who are not using "tomboy" who are making the attributes that were once part of the tomboy stereotype into part of a present-day construct that includes sexuality. The author stresses that many so-called tomboys were heterosexual. It wasn't a euphemism for lesbian. It's those who don't say tomboy who aligning the childish behavior with adult sexuality.

Ann Althouse said...

"Also little boys think girls are icky, with perhaps an exception for tomboys."

And that, of course, is a stereotype, as I'm sure you know. Some little boys like to do the things that in the old days brought on the label "sissy." I await the day when the NYT publishes an article in the style of this "tomboy" article, that sings the praises of the old word "sissy."

Where have all the sissies gone?

Birches said...

How it works out here in Normal Land is that we just let our kids do what they want, and determine their gender by their genitalia, and accept that there's a wide range of normal. My teen daughter wears funny graphic tees and basketball shorts every day, has no interest in boys or makeup or doing her hair and is obsessed with Transformers. She's a girl because she has a female reproductive system, not because of her sartorial or recreational preferences. It does seem like quite the backward slide to return to "a girl does X and a boy does Y." Who gives a shit?

Yep. My 7 yr old really likes My Little Pony. One time he asked me if that made him a Tomgirl. I said, "Who says only girls can like My Little Pony? Is your sister allowed to like Star Wars or only boys? Your Papa really likes to cook and he sews better than me, does that make him a Tomgirl?" The absurdity of that made him laugh a lot, and it hasn't been a problem since then.

Ann Althouse said...

"I've been wondering about this myself, having been something of a tomboy in my youth. Not the short-haired, athletic kind, but the geeky, math-team, model-airplane-building, severely introspective kind. Were I growing up now, what would the pressures be? I ask partly because my little niece is now my young-adult nephew."

I think there are some parents who would have over-supported you into acquiring a view of yourself as transgendered.

Lyssa said...

She's a girl because she has a female reproductive system, not because of her sartorial or recreational preferences. It does seem like quite the backward slide to return to "a girl does X and a boy does Y."

Absolutely this. I have a baby daughter and a toddler son, and I really hope that this sort of narrow boxing in is mostly just isolated internet nuts, and not something that they're going to have to deal with.

In my adult life, I do a lot of things that are more associated with males (i.e., I'm the family breadwinner), and a lot of things that would be associated with females (like wear dresses). I highly, highly value that I have this freedom and have arranged my life as I prefer it. Being the breadwinner is far more important to my identity, yet it seems like the fact that I wear dresses and similar is the thing that makes me a woman, in some eyes.

chickelit said...

Laslo Spatula said...
"... at least in liberal enclaves..."

This is where the infections seem to start.

I am Laslo.


There is something profoundly male/female about the notions "liberal enclave" vs "liberal outpost"

Laslo Spatula said...

Tomboy Style is a Thing..

I am Laslo.

Fernandinande said...

Tomboy = "about 329 results"

"gender-nonconformist" = "about 351 results"

"gender-expansive" = "about 328 results"

"sissy" = "about 238 results"

Mrs Whatsit said...

'This new gender stuff sounds like it came out of a dystopian novel. "We will enforce the gender stereotypes at all cost! And we will call it tolerance!"'

This. So much of what pretends to be tolerance these days turns out in practice to be absolute, unforgiving intolerance of anything that deviates from the latest sociological fad.

tim in vermont said...

I always thought tomboys were kind of hot. That's why, as an adult, I was always grateful that there were few 100% lesbians.

Scout was a tomboy in To Kill a Mockingbird, Jean Louise in Go Set a Watchman was a lesbian who didn't seem to know it. I assume both characters were loosely based on Harper Lee, but obviously I have no way of actually knowing that.

But I agree that tomboy doesn't mean "pre-gay" and shouldn't. When we used the word "tomboy" we didn't even know what gay was.

Derek Kite said...

It isn't the kids who are confused here.

Another bit of evidence that pedophilia is the final frontier in the sexual revolution.

Freeman Hunt said...

"The author stresses that many so-called tomboys were heterosexual."

Yeah, almost all of us. Most of us looked pretty girlie later too.

Adults are creeps.

bleh said...

When I hear tomboy, I think of the preteen girl who got dirty, ate bugs and played baseball with the boys -- but when puberty hit she became beautiful, grew boobs and started caring about makeup and hair. Sorta like the ugly duckling.

It's a very positive association in my mind.

tim in vermont said...

There was far less social pressure on tomboys than on sissies, boys liked tomboys, and tomboys didn't care what the sissy girls thought. Which made them all the more charming.

I used words like charming, so I know what it was like to be set apart. It was not that bad. In fact, one of my favorite childhood memories was in the schoolyard, a snowball fight in which probably five or ten kids ganged up on me, and I was fighting back alone. I was making and throwing snowballs as fast as I could, throwing them back at the guys hammering me until the coolest kid in the school said "Hey Tim in Vermont is having more fun than we are!" and he joined me fighting the other kids. Another kid tried to join us but we wouldn't let him, we pelted him and drove him off.

CJinPA said...

"Tomboy" is problematic. Call them "schmirls."

Bob Ellison said...

Ultimate tomboy: Mary Stuart Masterson.

Unknown said...

Stereotyping "tomboy" activities as transgender is profoundly wrong. And common. Always has been (see "Friends" gags about Ross's first wife). And given the huge press towards encouraging non-traditional sexual characterization, it is probably an influence in developing young women.

Qwinn said...

Althouse: "Where have all the sissies gone?"

There's tons of them still around. They put one of their own in the White House 7 years ago.

tim in vermont said...

Plus, it is always better to have a tomboy playing baseball with you than using "ghost runners" and having rules like "Everything to right field is an out unless you clear the snow fence" because you didn't have enough kids. BTW, a line drive "through" the snow fence, which broke the slats, was also a home run by special ruling of my big brother.

CJinPA said...

Ultimate tomboy: Mary Stuart Masterson.

Conversely, the guy in that scene...

SGT Ted said...

It is entirely due to LGBTBBQ sex activists that are bent on sexualizing children for their own political ends.

The more kids in their "Celebrate Where I Put My Junk" club, the more victims they get to claim need Government intervention from "oppression". So, tomboys get politicized as "gender benders" in order to be brought into the freak club involuntarily and pad their numbers.

The LGBT activists are validating the social conservative claim that they really are sex obsessed weirdos trying to recruit kids into their lifestyles by acting like this.

kjbe said...

"I was a total tomboy. I'm glad there was no idiot around to claim that I was an actual boy."

Same, here (the former). The latter, unfortunately, was not my experience.

"It was a lighthearted word in the old days, and maybe for some it still is, but wearing comfortable playclothes and engaging in sports doesn't need to be associated with maleness. I'd step back and not go all gender-y with children. Let them be individuals and try to support whatever healthy, positive interests and attributes they find for themselves."

Thank you for articulating this.

CJinPA said...

Plus, it is always better to have a tomboy playing baseball with you than using "ghost runners"

Indeed. This reason may not sound to enlightened, but it sure was practical.

lgv said...

Many hetero adult females wear the term "tomboy" as a badge of honor. "I was a tomboy growing up" It wasn't about sexuality, it was about something else.

There are plenty of "tomboys" at the gym and on athletic teams. Few have gender identity issues and only a minority are lesbians.

Conservatives bother kids too.

Yes, but not in a symmetrical way. Us libertarians bother kids the least.

Bay Area Guy said...

You can't call them "sissies" anymore. The proper label is "Beta Males." Exhibit A: Lincoln Chafee running for President of the United States on a platform to adopt the Metric System. That's Pure Beta.

Freeman Hunt said...

I remember boys playing Barbies with a friend of mine. They didn't want other boys to know. None of them turned out to be feminine or gay. I think they thought the Barbies were cool, like big action figures with giant houses and cars.

Laslo Spatula said...

Women who were tomboys when they were young often grow up to do great things.

In bed.


I am Laslo.

Dan Hossley said...

Every minute spent exploring the fringes of the relevant universe is just wasted self indulgent titillation.

Laslo Spatula said...

You can often tell if a woman was a tomboy just by looking at her ass.

A youth of physical exuberance usually leads to a firm pert backside.

Thighs are also a tell.

I am Laslo.

tim in vermont said...

People keep talking about "beta males" as if it is some kind of insult. Betas do fine. Alpha males are very rare. It's the gammas and deltas that have to resort to "game."

mikee said...

My daughter experienced two things in her formative years (0-18) at home.

First, she had "older brother training" in which she saw and emulated everydamnthing her 4-year older brother did, and decided that she could do it, too, right away. An older sister would have worked just as well, but we had a boy so he did the training. Climb trees at age 2? Play with computers at age 4? Pee standing up (one of her few failures!)? Tae Kwon Do, gymnastics, soccer, at all ages? Sure. Her older brother was doing fun stuff, and she wouldn't let us stop her from doing those fun things, too, and right away.

Second, she watched her accomplished mother practice medicine and her somewhat accomplished father practice engineering. And we demonstrated in our actions and words that there was nothing she was not allowed to think about, and only safety concerns were necessary to address when trying something she'd been thinking about. Dissecting a squid before making fried calimari sticks with me as one of her fun teen year whims.

Older brother/sibling training. Parents who set the kid free to explore the world.

I think daddy's little girl is doing just fine.

Her brother? He kept finding new things to do as he grew up, to outpace little sister. So that worked for him, too.

Enjoy the kids while they last, they grow up and leave home just as they become really wonderful adults that I'd love to have as neighbors.

MadisonMan said...

It's human nature to classify people into groups. Groups are easily named.

You can stop calling them tomboys, but they'll still be in the same group formerly known as tomboys.

So when a new name is presented, I can just say "Oh. You mean tomboys!" And then ask "What's the difference?" when the name-presenter objects.

In my experience (from what I remember with my own kids), tomboys were less than 10 years old. To think about the gender to whom they're attracted at that age: Are you kidding me?

YoungHegelian said...

What "tomboys" can grow up to be.

tim in vermont said...

It does seem self-evident that introducing the term "gender" at this phase is hideously careless of the power adults have over children.

Titus said...

The most popular term in gay ads is "no fems".

Montgomery HOG Blog said...

"I'd step back and not go all gender-y with children. Let them be individuals and try to support whatever healthy, positive interests and attributes they find for themselves."

Oh no. How ever could we do so when to push little Skezzix or Athelon into faddish stereotypes garners just so, so many more admiring glances and comments from those that matter.

jr565 said...

Lol!
(and gay people are responsible for the pedophilia in the Church, as well. You folks express your fears in funny, offensive ways.)

Its usually priests diddling the altar boys.

CJinPA said...

Enjoy the kids while they last, they grow up and leave home just as they become really wonderful adults that I'd love to have as neighbors.

I appreciate people telling me and my wife that ever since we had our first child. We've made an effort to enjoy it all. They do grow up fast and I'm instantly nostalgic for the age they just left. We have a few years to go before they leave, but your advice for that final stage is well put.

jr565 said...

Lol!
(and gay people are responsible for the pedophilia in the Church, as well. You folks express your fears in funny, offensive ways.)

Its usually priests diddling the altar boys.

Bob Ellison said...

It's too bad that tomboyishness is converting to pre-lesbianism.

Plenty of girls have tendencies that we associate with masculinity: fearlessness, enjoyment of feats of strength, assertiveness, etc. They're still girls and women.

But modern American-Euro culture wants girls to go one way or the other. Either be a Barbie whore, or be some kind of weird robot masculine lesbian whore.

There's a centripetal cultural force, and it's leftists powering it. You must be this or that. You can't just be yourself.

I Callahan said...

I think they thought the Barbies were cool, like big action figures with giant houses and cars.

And boobs. Don't think for a minute that that had nothing to do with it...

holdfast said...

Betcha they were disappointed at what they found when they got Barbie undressed! Just sayin'.

Let's just say that GI Joe was not happy about the situation.

JSD said...

Fail! I read it and still don’t understand the writer’s point. My wife wore jeans, rode horses and played baseball. Wearing poofy dresses and going to quinceaneras was never in the cards. Nobody said anything to her and she wouldn’t listen if they did. Young kids are rarely given credit for how smart they are. Adults need to recognize real problems from imaginary ones.
Playing with matches – Problem
Playing baseball (or with dolls) – Not a problem

Freeman Hunt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tim in vermont said...

Let's just say that GI Joe was not happy about the situation.

Imagine how she felt when he dropped his combat pants.

Michael said...

My theory is that trans is the new gluten-free. It is a life-and-death issue for a small number of people, but since it gets a lot of attention everyone wants to get into the act. Just let kids be kids, and support them as they develop. Some tomboys will wind up wearing prom dresses and some won't. But don't make it about signalling how Progressive and open-minded you are.

Bob Ellison said...

I just received via UPS my third Estwing hatchet. No live link, because the Professor should receive a kickback. [Professor, how can we put up links that go through your Amazon link?]

Anyway, it's my third because someone stole my first one after 25 years, and I bought another the other day, and my son admired it so much that I had to give it to him, so I've bought a third so that I can still have one.

Bob Ellison said...

[I'd like to see a "Buy it" button on the blog that refers to Amazon.]

Bob Ellison said...

Oh, OK, I guess we must travel down this cul-de-sac. What was the question again? You asked one, I guess. Let me travel up in the comment stream...let's see..."And some of them indeed grow up to be lesbians. We are all cool with that too, right?"

I can't speak for everyone ("all"), but then again, you seem unable to speak for even a normal person. But yes, I'm cool with that.

What part weirded you out? Did you undergo some strange things years ago, or do some bad drugs lately? What's wrong with you?

You seem to want affirmation of some kind.

Darcy said...

Pfalz dichotomy

Loved.

Bob Ellison said...

Maybe you're a normal person in regular life. You should probably get help, though. I'm not a big believer in the talking cure, but those people tend to be connected to helpers.

Bob Ellison said...

So lesbianism is a bad thing?

Good day, sir! [That was a bad joke. Sorry. It just seems funny.]

I Callahan said...

This, for starters...
"It's too bad that tomboyishness is converting to pre-lesbianism. Plenty of girls have tendencies that we associate with masculinity: fearlessness, enjoyment of feats of strength, assertiveness, etc. They're still girls and women."

and this:

"But modern American-Euro culture wants girls to go one way or the other. Either be a Barbie whore, or be some kind of weird robot masculine lesbian whore."
Do you know any positive role model lesbians in your limited world, Bob? It's ok to be gay, you know.


Where in Bob's comments did he hint that it wasn't OK? This is an indictment of society, not of being gay. So stop arguing a straw man.

Bob Ellison said...

I'll be at the Play Cafe all week. Try the veal.

Birches said...

@ Bob Ellison

I LOVE that movie. I did not get a diamond in my wedding ring. I told my spouse that when we were finally wealthy enough, he could buy me a diamond pair of earrings and say, "you look good wearing my future." And if I ever stop having kids, maybe that will happen someday. haha

rcocean said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rcocean said...

"I remember boys playing Barbies with a friend of mine. They didn't want other boys to know."

Yeah, we always beat up boys like that. They deserved it too.

Birkel said...

Crazy went nuts and went proof.
If only the people pushing the culture conformity bull shit would do the same.

Michael said...

"At least in liberal enclaves." Outside the university where are these enclaves? The enclaves appear to be lunatic asylums, at least those parts of the enclaves that talk about things in this way using these kinds of words.

In real world enclaves nobody thinks or talks this way. That is why liberals feel most comfortable in their liberal enclaves because when they get out in real world enclaves they feel (of course) they are treated harshly.

Michael said...

Titus

The Mohonk Mountain house is indeed a special place. It does not, of course, cost $1,000 a night unless you want it to. Rates start in the low 500s.

What is most interesting about the hotel is that it could not be built where it is now. It would be impossible to receive permission to build a hut there. And so it is special in that way. Also special is the fact that it is old fashioned in all the right ways. No A/C. No internet. No phones.

But not $1000 a night. Some people lie when the truth would do better.

n.n said...

Outside of la-la land, they are called girls. There are certain gender roles and dress that separate men and women, but they are neither baseball nor short hair.

Titus said...

Michael, we stayed in the Victorian Mountain Tower and the rate was $950.00 per night....with tax it was actually over $1000.

They only started serving alcohol 10 years ago!

The Smiley family still runs the place.

I fed fish.

And did spa treatments-lots of gray hairs there though

Michael said...

Titus

Gray hairs in abundance!! That is for sure. Never stayed in the Tower. Too cheap. But I have spent many happy days there. Haven't been in a few years but I recall the food as abominable.

Rosalyn C. said...

I suspect some people here are rewriting history or grew up after me. When I grew up in the 50's children and adults were very aware of gender, and gender roles were very strictly observed. The term "tomboy" was a euphemism for a girl who liked boy toys and activities and didn't like dressing up in frilly girly clothing. The term was not necessarily used as a precursor to lesbianism but there were definitely concerns. I suppose that's why so many commenters here are eager to reassure us that they turned out heterosexual.

"Gender nonconformist" seems more of a neutral term to me than "tomboy" and it also includes boys who would otherwise be called effeminate or sissies. Are they more likely to become homosexual than tomboys? IDK.

Freeman Hunt said...

I suspect some people here are rewriting history or grew up after me. When I grew up in the 50's

After you. I grew up in the 80's, as did at least some of the others who have replied. Being a tomboy was not viewed negatively in the 80's. People are pointing out that their experiences don't conform to this new gender paradigm.

Sounds like the new gender conformity that says, "You are the gender of the gender stereotypes you exhibit as a child," are not at all unlike the 50's you describe.

Michael said...

What is going on here is the attempt to recruit, to beg for recruits, to lift the numbers of actual gay people to get close to the number of gay people that straight people are taught to believe through watching network television exist. Probably around 40%. So there is a lot of work to be done to fill those slots.

Drago said...

Titus: "And did spa treatments-lots of gray hairs there though"

While you were there did you do any "crunches" to work on your "a**"?

Or have you learned anything since writing that?

Sixty Bricks said...

rcocean said... Who cares what this idiot says.

David said...

Tomboy was a high level compliment. A physically competitive female who would not back down. The first girls to really interest me were the tomboys in our neighborhood. They got harassed a little bit, much in the way that boys would harass other boys. This was in the 1950's. Seems to me they were natural feminists.

David said...

"The term was not necessarily used as a precursor to lesbianism but there were definitely concerns."

In the 1950's I had no idea what a lesbian was. I had never heard of one. But we had tomboys. It never occurred to me that they weren't ordinary girls. Just somewhat more interesting ones.

Lydia said...

Like David, I too always thought “tomboy” was a compliment. I would love to have been one rather than the super-girly wimp I was growing up that none of the boys wanted to play with.

Michael K said...

"Conservatives bother kids too."

Yes, we tell them to go out and play. Horrors !

The term "tomboy" when I heard it was always positive and usually used by a women describing her childhood.

CatherineM said...

Mikee - I constantly tried to pee standing up like my brother. Mostly I was impressed with the bubbles in the water. Annoyed my mom with a lot of wet socks until I accomplished the feat one day (straddling the bowl) and I was done.

This stuff really bothers me. I climbed every tree. I skate boarded. Was the best wide receiver on the block. I hated dresses, wanted to be Wilt Chamberlain big (thank God that didn't come true) my best male friend and I were going to grow up and drive tractor trailers together. My mother told me I was going to go bald if I wore my Yankees hat all the time like I was (so I set aside an hour at lunch to let my hair breathe). Then I hit puberty about 12, worried about my hair, started painting my nails, etc.

I now have a relative who tells me her 3 year old daughter tells her she's a boy and she might be gay because she loves dressing as spider man and not like a princess. I said she says she is a boy because you ask her if she thinks she's a boy. I was no different and no one assumed I thought I was a boy. It upset me so much that she might mess with her kids head.

All the people, who say "be accepting" are the biggest labeled a.

Known Unknown said...

I would proudly say that my daughter is somewhat the tomboy. All of the kids in our neighborhood she plays with are boys. She doesn't back down, is tougher than nails, and loves stuff like Jurassic World and Avengers.

She was Optimus Prime for Halloween.

However, she does love getting her nails done, clothes from Justice, and sparkly stuff.

I don't dare push her one way or the other. I just sit back and am continually amazed at how surprising she always is.

JAORE said...

"Tomboy was a high level compliment. A physically competitive female who would not back down. The first girls to really interest me were the tomboys in our neighborhood. They got harassed a little bit, much in the way that boys would harass other boys. This was in the 1950's. Seems to me they were natural feminists."

Ditto for this child of the '50s.

In that innocent world the term lesbian was unknown. We reacted to other kids by their actions. You like baseball? Cool, I do too. Wanna climb that tree? Cool, I do too.